I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
