It's just like the Real World with babies
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
