Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
