Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
