Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
