toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
