You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
