Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize