I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
