So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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