Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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