it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize