I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
