We got so high we made milksteak
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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