Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
