U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
