btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
