I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
