"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
