If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
