I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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