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She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
As shirtless as possible
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
