We won't sleep together?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
