Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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