After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
