Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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