Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
