if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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