I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
