Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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