There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
