yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
