God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
