guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
