In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
