your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
