Me. At least after what I've been through.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize