I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do herpes really smell.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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