Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
