Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
