She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
