I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
