In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
tell me about the fingering
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