she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
