3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
