Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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