youre lurking in front of me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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