In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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