he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
