Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
