If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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