You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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