Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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