Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
