Umm I'm too high to move.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
