yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
