Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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