I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
