i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
