Can Purell be used as lube?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
