from now on my penis is your penis
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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