i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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