Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
