i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize