Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
