Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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