I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
How's work?
Spinning.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
