Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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