i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm too high and old for this...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
