weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize